Connecting to Something Bigger – Meditation

Shaltazar Meditation – Connecting to Something Bigger

And So It Is. Feel the Isness of this moment. Feel it deeply so you may Know. Yes, so you may Know Who You Truly Are. Allow yourself to feel the tranquility when the mind is still. All is quiet. All is still. Feel the breath, the in-breath, and the out-breath. No effort is required for the body knows, yes it knows how to breathe. Stop everything except the breath and simply observe. Focus on the in and the out as your body breathes. A thought comes up, but you let it go. And back to the breath. You continue this practice until the mind is completely still. But who is in charge in this moment? Is it the breath? The breath has no desire to lead. It just wants to breathe – the in-breath and the out-breath. It wants no more. So who is leading you? Who is in charge? The mind that has been silent pops up and says “I will be in charge”. But you say “no thanks”. Just rest, my weary mind. You have worked so hard trying to lead me forward in this lifetime. Take a well-deserved rest beautiful mind. And the mind says, but who will be in charge if not me? It is a dangerous place out there. You need me to protect you, to lead you forth.

But once again there is a part of you that says “no thanks”. I will be okay if you take a break, take a rest. And so, you go back to the breath as you give permission, as you encourage the mind to be still, to be quiet. You continue to focus on your breathing. The in-breath and the out-breath. Repeated over and over again. Just the breath. No obsessive thoughts of the past or the future. Just Now Here and the breath. So peaceful, so serene. Why have I not come to this place more often? It’s like an oasis of calm in a busy world. It feels content to just Be. No more and no less. No anticipation, no expectation. The breath is all there is – in and out, in and out. You never realized that no mind could be so peaceful, so serene. You never realized that simply the breath could be so calming.

And slowly something within you begins to stir. From the silence, from the serenity a feeling comes up. It is a different kind of feeling. Not a feeling that comes up when the mind is active. Often when the mind is active the feelings of rush, need to, have to, fear, apprehension, discomfort, and suffering come up. But this feeling that arises from the silence, from the stillness is different. Could it be love, could it be unconditional love? You are not sure. You have no desire to try to figure it out. You are content to just accept it, just feel it. It feels very reassuring and non-judgmental. It is very accepting. It says “Just Be”. No more and no less. Your body feels very relaxed. You notice the tension that is often present has now dissipated. When nothing comes up you are okay with that. The need to know, the need for more is not there. That is so different than most of the time. You seem okay with What Is even if that is nothing. You begin to notice your senses have become sharper than normal. Without the mind clutter, without the mind shooting orders obsessively, you are able to sense to a greater degree.

Again, you sense a stirring. A presence of something, although you are not sure what the something is, you know it is something Big. But not big in a terrifying way, big in a calming and loving way. It begins to fill your entire beingness. You start to feel tingles all over your body. A feeling of warmth comes up. But maybe it’s not warmth, maybe it’s cool. You are not sure. You have no desire to really define the feelings and the sensations. You are content to simply be with them. Even though this feeling of something Big is present you are not afraid. Actually, you feel quite relieved and at ease. You know everything will be okay. Not only okay but wonderful. You feel secure, you feel protected. But then, you seem to have lost contact with the feeling, but you don’t panic. You simply go back to your breath. The in-breath, the out-breath. You are not worried that you lost the feeling. There is an inner knowing that even though you don’t feel it, you know it is still present. That feels reassuring.

And after a few moments of in-breath and out-breath the feeling of something Big comes back. You are not sure exactly when it came back, but you just realized it’s here again. The feeling begins to speak to you. Not in a language. You are really not sure how It’s speaking to you, but It is. You just know it. It is not speaking in a thunderous voice like you would expect something so Big would do. Actually, it is barely a whisper that you hear. Maybe just a stirring. But what is so puzzling is that you can hear this whisper very loudly. It is so clear, so articulate. You then begin to realize it seems very familiar. Although you are not sure what you are communicating with, you wonder if you have communicated with It at another time. You have a faint recollection of doing so. You are not sure why this feels familiar, but it does. This something Big begins to tell you how proud It is of you and how much It loves you. Normally you would feel you should respond, you should say something back. But in this moment, you are content to simply listen. You don’t feel the need to reply. You are not sure if it is the words you hear or merely the presence of this something Big, but you are very content, very peaceful, very tranquil. It feels loving and supportive.

As the communication continues you realize this something Big seems to know all about you, everything you have ever done. It seems to know you better than you do. You begin to feel more comfortable in Its presence and you begin to ask questions, very deep questions about your life. You feel courageous enough to ask not only about your life, but about all of life. The answers that come back seem very deep, but for some bizarre reason you understand the answers very clearly. Strangely enough you feel a clarity you have never experienced before. It is as if you knew the answers but merely forgot them. But you don’t feel ashamed or stupid because you forgot the answers. On the contrary you feel somewhat relieved that what you are communicating with has reminded you of the answers. You are grateful for the clarity. You feel like you want to hug the Bigness. But before you realize it the Bigness has hugged you. It makes you feel so special, so loved, so uplifted, so important. You don’t ever remember feeling this way in your life, although there was something familiar about the feelings. You’re not sure why, but you know you have felt them before. There is a silence and tranquility that is deafening. The feeling has stopped communicating with you, but you know It is still there. You can feel It’s presence.

And then all of a sudden you realize you are focusing on your breath. The in-breath, the out-breath. In and out. Over and over again. Where were you? Did you go somewhere or were you here the whole time just focusing on your breath? You get the sense you took a journey. Was it a journey to the Beyond or did you go No Where, just Now Here? You are not sure, but you have no desire to figure it out. You are feeling content, rested and rejuvenated. It feels refreshing. You look at the clock and you realize that much time has passed since you first began focusing on your breath. How could that much time have passed? You can’t really remember the time going by. All you can faintly remember is the feeling of the presence of something Big in your space. You can’t really describe it, but you know it felt familiar. Did this feeling communicate with you? You’re not sure, but you know you feel different. You are not sure how, but it all feels good. You feel a contentment and peace you have rarely felt. All is well.

You get up from your chair and get ready to begin your day. Everything feels different in a pleasant sort of way, but you can’t describe it. Out of no where a fleeting thought crosses your mind – I wonder what it would be like to communicate with God. I wonder if I could ever do that? You let the thought go and prepare to get on with your day. A big smile comes over you, but not just on your face, it’s a full body smile.

And So It Is.

May 24, 2018.