For much of my life, I believed getting what I wanted was mostly a matter of deciding what I wanted badly enough and then working hard enough to make it happen.
That was the world I grew up in. You were supposed to want a good career, financial success, marriage, children, a nice home, security and a comfortable life.
Then came the instructions. Set goals. Make a plan. Be disciplined. Work hard. Stay focused. Do not give up.
I became very good at that way of living. And to be fair, it worked.
There is nothing wrong with goals, discipline or hard work. But somewhere along my spiritual journey, I began asking a different question.
Instead of asking, “How do I get what I want?” I began asking:
Do I actually know what I want?
The How Is Not Always the What
Most of us think we are clear about our desires. I want that job. A bigger house. More money. That relationship. A more successful career.
But Shaltazar helped me see that many of the things we call desires are not really the desire at all.
They are the how.
The deeper question is:
What do I believe having this will allow me to feel?
Perhaps the job represents security or purpose. The house may represent peace or safety. Money may represent choice or abundance. A relationship may represent love or belonging.
The physical thing may be one way of experiencing what we really desire. But it is rarely the only way.
When I insist on one particular outcome, I am deciding in advance how life has to deliver the feeling I am seeking.
I am asking the infinite possibilities of the Universe to fit inside the limits of my present imagination.
What Do You Really Want?
One of the most useful questions I now ask myself is:
What do I believe this will give me emotionally?
If I want more money because I want greater freedom, then freedom may be closer to the real desire.
That does not mean I stop wanting money. It means I stop making money the only doorway through which freedom is allowed to enter.
Instead of saying, This is what must happen, I can set an intention:
I desire greater freedom, abundance and peace in my life. I have ideas about what that might look like, but I am open to being shown something I cannot yet see.
That gives the Universe some wiggle room.
Goals and Intentions Feel Different
A goal often defines the outcome: This is what I want. This is how I am going to get it. This is when it should happen.
Goals can be useful. But the mind can easily turn a goal into a demand.
An intention feels more spacious: This is the direction I feel drawn toward. I will participate fully, but I do not need to control every detail of how it unfolds.
That is not passive. I still make decisions, create and move forward. I am simply trying to use less force.
I have not learned how to create a life without effort. I have learned that effort and struggle are not the same thing.
There is the effort of participating in life, and there is the exhausting effort of trying to force life to obey the plan my mind created.
The Energy Beneath the Desire
There is another layer that may be even more important.
What energy am I bringing to what I want?
Two people can desire exactly the same thing and be holding that desire from very different places.
One may want financial abundance because underneath is fear: There is not enough. I am not safe. I need more before I can relax.
Another may want the same abundance because something inside is expanding: I want to create more, contribute more and have greater freedom to share what I have.
Same desire. Different energetic origin.
One is saying, in effect, I need this because something is missing.
The other is saying, I would love to experience this because something in me wants to expand.
Most of us probably carry some of both.
This is not about judging our desires or trying to make them spiritually pure. I can genuinely want to help people and still enjoy recognition. I can desire abundance while part of me still fears scarcity.
The work is awareness.
What is energizing this desire right now?
This is why feelings matter so much. If thinking about something I desire brings up urgency, anxiety, inadequacy, comparison or fear, I do not need to pretend those feelings are not there.
They are information. They are revealing the energy I have wrapped around the desire.
I do not believe we need to force ourselves into a “higher vibration” by denying what we really feel.
If fear is there, acknowledge it. If desperation is there, listen to it. If impatience is there, become curious about it.
Then ask:
What am I expecting this desire to change or make possible in my life?
Sometimes the desire does not need to change.
The energy with which I am holding it does.
Leave Room to Be Surprised
I am beginning to see conscious creation differently than I once did.
Desire gives us direction.
Intention gives that desire spaciousness.
Feelings reveal the energy we are bringing to it.
Inspired action allows us to participate.
Trust leaves room for something beyond the thinking mind to participate with us.
I do not need to know the entire path before I begin. I can take the next aligned step and remain open to what follows.
Where I eventually arrive may be very different from what I would have planned.
That does not mean I had no direction.
It means I had direction without rigidity.
Perhaps this is a gentler way of moving through life. Not doing less or wanting less. Simply becoming more aware of what we truly desire, the energy with which we hold it and how tightly we insist life deliver it in one particular form.
Sometimes the shift is as simple as moving from I need this to happen to I would love to experience this.
From: This is the only way this can happen.
To: This is one possible way it could happen.
From: How am I going to make this happen?
To: Show me the next step, and help me recognize the path as it unfolds.
Activate the Wisdom
Turning insight into embodied change.
Choose one desire that feels alive in your life right now.
Begin with the thing you think you want and ask:
What do I believe having this will allow me to feel?
Keep going until you reach something deeper than the thing itself: perhaps freedom, peace, love, security, belonging, purpose or abundance.
Then notice how you feel when you think about not having it yet.
What does that feeling reveal about the energy you have attached to the desire?
Do not judge what you discover. Simply become aware.
Finally, try turning the goal into an intention:
I know the experience I am moving toward. I am willing to participate fully and take the next inspired step. I have ideas about how it might arrive, but I do not need to know the entire path. I am open to possibilities I cannot yet see.
Then allow your desire to come forth, leaving the Universe a little room to show you the way.
August 26, 2026
Jeffrey Eisen
Spiritual Life Coach & Channeler
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