Maybe You Don’t Need Less Negativity. Maybe You Need More Space

What if changing your life isn’t always about getting rid of what’s wrong, but making more room for what’s possible?

During a recent coaching session, someone shared an observation that really caught my attention.

She realized that her vocabulary for expressing negative thoughts and feelings was much larger than her positive vocabulary. She could easily describe what was wrong, frustrating, or disappointing in her life, but struggled to find the same variety of words for what was good, beautiful, or joyful.

It made me wonder how many of us do the same thing.

We can spend so much time talking about our problems, worries, and frustrations that we rarely give equal attention to what excites, inspires, or brings us joy. Perhaps we’ve become so accustomed to describing what’s wrong that we’ve lost sight of some of what’s right.

Have we become so fluent in the language of negativity that we’ve forgotten how to speak the language of possibility?

The World We’ve Learned to See

From childhood, we absorb beliefs, attitudes, and emotional responses from the people and environments around us. Over time, they shape how we see ourselves and the world.

If we grow up surrounded by criticism, we may become especially sensitive to what’s wrong. If we’ve experienced repeated disappointment, we may learn to anticipate difficulties before they happen.

Often, these patterns develop to protect us. Our mind learns to look for problems because being prepared once helped us feel safer.

There’s nothing wrong with recognizing difficulties. Life includes struggle and possibility, fear and love, disappointment and joy.

But when our attention becomes focused almost entirely on what’s wrong, we begin seeing life through a narrow window, unaware of how much exists beyond it.

What If We Stopped Fighting So Hard?

When we recognize our negative thinking, our natural response is often to try to change it.

We tell ourselves to stop worrying, criticizing, or expecting the worst. We challenge limiting beliefs, repeat affirmations, or try to understand why we think the way we do.

I’ve done plenty of this myself throughout my spiritual journey. And I don’t dismiss the importance of awareness or questioning beliefs that no longer serve us. Both have been essential to my transformation.

But I’ve noticed something interesting.

Sometimes we become so focused on eliminating negativity that it remains the centre of our attention. We spend enormous energy examining what’s wrong, trying to fix it, and wondering why it hasn’t disappeared.

Even our desire to become more positive can become another struggle.

That’s when another possibility emerged from our conversation.

What if we didn’t have to spend so much energy trying to eliminate the negative? What if we could begin creating more space for something different?

Creating Space for Something New

Imagine a room so crowded with things collected over the years that there’s barely space to move. Some things are useful, others no longer serve us, and some we never consciously chose to bring in.

But perhaps we don’t have to throw everything away. We could reorganize, put some things into boxes, and store them out of sight until they’re needed.

Our inner world can be much the same. We don’t have to eliminate every problem, fear, or difficult thought. But we don’t need to keep them all in plain sight, occupying our attention and leaving little room for anything else.

By giving our problems their proper place rather than allowing them to fill the entire room, we create space for curiosity, creativity, joy, and new possibilities.

From Positive Thinking to Positive Experiencing

Now that we’ve created some space, what might we choose to fill it with?

Instead of concentrating on thinking more positively, perhaps we could begin experiencing more of what brings us joy, curiosity, beauty, and inspiration.

We could enjoy nature, explore our creativity, listen to music, or discover something entirely new. Rather than trying to convince ourselves that life holds possibilities, we could give ourselves opportunities to experience them.

Positive thinking asks us to change what we believe. Positive experiencing gives us something new from which beliefs can begin to change.

Shaltazar has taught me that wisdom is knowledge experienced. I think that understanding is particularly relevant here.

We can know intellectually that life offers joy, beauty, freedom, and possibility. But when we actually experience these things, they become part of our understanding of life.

Each new experience gives us something positive to draw upon, gradually expanding our perspective beyond the negativity we’ve learned to expect.

I’ve discovered this throughout my spiritual journey. Meditation, photography, spending time in nature, and simply allowing myself to explore have opened me to experiences and possibilities that weren’t available when my mind was busy trying to figure everything out.

Perhaps that’s how lasting change begins. Not by fighting everything we’ve learned to believe, but by creating enough new experiences that those old beliefs no longer occupy so much of our inner world.

Giving Ourselves Permission to Expand

Of course, everyday responsibilities can make it difficult to give ourselves permission to enjoy these experiences without feeling guilty or unproductive.

During the conversation, we came up with a simple idea: set a timer. Give yourself time to wander, create, or simply enjoy something, knowing you’ve already decided when you’ll return to your responsibilities.

Sometimes creating a boundary around our time actually gives us more freedom within it.

As we explore these experiences, we can also notice how they feel. What leaves us feeling restricted, and what awakens openness, curiosity, or possibility? Not every uncomfortable experience is wrong for us, but recognizing what feels expansive can help guide us toward more of what nourishes us.

Making Room for More of Life

As I reflect on all of this, I’m realizing that personal transformation doesn’t always have to begin with identifying another problem to solve. Sometimes it can begin with a simple question.

What would I like to experience more of in my life?

Not what do I need to fix, overcome, release, or improve. But what would I like to make more room for?

We may not be able to eliminate every negative thought, fear, or disappointment. Nor do we need to pretend life’s challenges aren’t real. But we can make choices that expand our experience beyond those challenges.

And perhaps, as our inner world grows larger, the familiar negativity that once occupied so much of it begins to take up less space.

Not because we’ve defeated it, but because we’ve discovered there’s so much more to who we are and what life can offer.

Maybe the path toward a more fulfilling life isn’t always about becoming less of what we don’t want to be.

Maybe it’s about making more room for everything we haven’t yet allowed ourselves to become.

Activate the Wisdom

For the next few days, notice how easily your attention moves toward what’s wrong, difficult, or missing. Don’t criticize yourself for noticing. Simply become curious.

Then ask yourself: What could I create a little more space for today?

Choose something that feels nourishing, expansive, or enjoyable. Give yourself permission to experience it without expecting anything from it.

Afterward, notice how you feel. You don’t need to turn the experience into another lesson. Simply notice what becomes possible when you make room for more of life.

October 16, 2026