How living in the moment brings you closer to love

I tend to jump into things. I have confidence in my abilities, yes, but I also have these permanent rose-colored glasses on, which means I believe wholeheartedly and without any doubt that everything’s going to work out well.

It usually makes life a little more exciting and fun. Want to go skydiving? I’ve never tried it, but my answer would be, yes! Will we go somewhere we’ve never been for our next vacation? Even if we don’t speak the language and it might not be the safest place to visit, I vote we do it! Should I hit publish on a Medium article that reveals some of my deepest fears and feelings? I say, absolutely! Why not?

It’s a way of life that creates a lot of momentum. You get a lot done when you’re not afraid of how it’ll turn out. You cover a lot of ground when you’re not too concerned what other people will think. When you always look on the bright side, filled with hope and faith in abundance, there’s nothing holding you back.

Waiting for greatness is pointless

There are downsides, though. For one, I tend not to have patience. I want life to get on with it because beautiful things are waiting around the corner. That project a client just emailed about is going to be fun and fulfilling. The book I reserved at the library is going to be life-changing. The mitts I bought online will be the warmest yet.

I just can’t wait for life to happen because it’s going to be awesome. But it also means I’m missing out on the present moment.

Playing with words and curiosity, transforming my thoughts and feelings about patience into the Medium article I’m writing. Holding the books my husband so thoughtfully chose for me as a birthday present, sensing how smooth the covers are, how soft the pages, how loved they make me feel. Enjoying walking in the snow with George Lucas, the wonder puppy, a cool breeze on my face and that clean smell of winter — even with no mittens on at all.

The Best Birthday Present Ever, Photo by Author

Waiting for greatness is just as pointless as waiting for terrible things to happen. It just as easily takes me away from the present and all its glory and grace. Rushing through life’s best bits because I can’t wait to get to the ones that are further down the line is always a move away from patience. From the beauty of now. And that’s where the fear comes in. Because what is focusing on the future, even a wonderful one, if not a fear that what I have is not enough?

I’m most connected to the people around me, the very air I breathe

Impatience is fear. It’s not trusting that where I am now is exactly where I should be and enjoying it for all that it is. It’s trying to control my destiny by focusing on the good that will come tomorrow, but it also just glosses over all the good that’s happening right now.

There are times when I notice the tricks my mind plays on me. When I become aware of the stories I create to make my future world more wondrous, more beautiful, more filled with love.

That’s when I take a deep breath (or several deep breaths) and look with curiosity at what I’m experiencing in this moment.

When I look at the people and the things around me with love instead of fear. When I admire and respect and enjoy them with my full heart and not just part of it.

Like when my son tells me about his Fortnite win and I look him in the eyes and take in every word he says with awe and love. Or when I put down what I’m doing and face my husband head on with appreciation and ardour when he tells me about what he’s feeling. Or when I tuck my phone away to take in the sights and sounds of a sledding afternoon with utter amazement and peace.

A Sledding Moment, Photo by Author

It’s in these moments that I feel most connected to the people around me, to nature and the very air I breathe. I feel the greatest love for and from them so fully that it often brings me to tears. I used to think it was weird or that something was wrong with me because I cry so much more now than I ever have. Until I realized I was crying from pure joy. Now, I embrace it.

Patience expands my love

The crying means I’m connecting to my true self in this moment. There’s nothing greater than that. And nothing at all to fear. Nothing to do except have the patience to drink it in and enjoy it all in this moment.

Rather than a burden, something to be endured, patience becomes this incredible gift.

It gives all moments their time and allows me to enjoy each of them to their fullest.

Even the tough ones that tend to stretch my mind toward fear.

Like when my dog is chasing me up the stairs. I have patience for her exuberance rather than fear she’s going to trip me up. I reach out and stroke her neck and tell her how much beautiful energy she has and I’m thankful she’s alive and that I’m here to witness her spirit. Or when I feel rushed to get dinner ready. I have patience with myself, turn on some music and enjoy every step in the process no matter how long it takes. I wash the vegetables and rice, stir them together with love, knowing I’m weaving them into this precious meal for my family.

George Lucas, the Wonder Puppy, Has a Beautiful Spirit, Photo by Author

And I’m so thankful I get to have these wonderful moments, no matter how small. They increase my patience. Reveal countless wonderful experiences. Expand my love. And I’m so thankful for that, too.

Michela Pasquali