My name is Mark, and I am a searcher-seeker.

At some point early on in adulthood, I sensed there was more than meets the eye to this life.  All the material trappings and goings-on in my small world always had a mundane, inconsequential, often meaningless feel to them.  Work, school, relationships, and most other aspects of my day-to-day existence were all flavored with a certain emptiness which urged me to dig deeper for life’s more esoteric meanings.

In my youth, this “knowing” of something greater caused me to feel impatient, irascible, and often angry with the frustratingly slow pace at which truth revealed itself.  Now at almost 60, though I’m still searching, my temperament has matured, allowing me to be more rational, measured, and patient in my search for wisdom.  Although I still get impatient, the periods of calm between squalls of anxiousness have become more protracted and the storms less violent.

It was during one of these unsettled cloudbursts that Jeffrey shared Shaltazar’s Learning to Cope with Searching and Seeking message.  I instantly recognized myself in the message.

Shaltazar says we have no choice but to search – that seeking is programmed into our DNA – which makes sense.  Before we came here, we were part of the Unity.  Upon our incarnation into physical form, we were disconnected from Source, from Oneness, and upon arriving here, forgot all we knew about our spiritual origins and who and what we are.  We then spend a lifetime in physical form working our way back toward Unity, toward Oneness, toward the I AM.

Which brings to light yet another marvelous Shaltazar paradox that “It is in the searching that you will never find.”

So why in heaven are we programmed to search for a destination we can never reach?  Like Sisyphus rolling a boulder up a hill only for it to roll back down, or Tantalus never quite reaching the fruit hanging just over his head or the water flowing just below his parched lips, we are doomed to search but never find.  How cruel.  How unjust.  But why?

The why is our purpose in being here, which is to add to the experiential nature of Deity.  Through our searching, striving, and looking, we experience.

Remember, God doesn’t live in the duality.  God exists in unity, in the Oneness.  In order for singularity to know duality, for perfection to know imperfection, for Source to know its creation, God bifurcated Oneness and placed us, along with a fragment of itself, in the duality in order to experience the vicissitudes of mortal existence as we, God’s creatures, stumble and stagger back toward Source – toward unity, toward Oneness.

In this respect, every choice we make adds to the experiential fabric of Deity, even if our choices are detrimental or destructive.  Remember, God doesn’t judge our choices.  God’s love is unconditional, meaning God loves every one of us the same no matter what we do or think or say.  (Yes, everyone including Pontius Pilate, Hitler, even Donald Trump.)

And because we are endowed with the power of free will choice, even Source doesn’t know exactly what our future holds.

Yes, we have a “destiny.”  Yes there is a plan.  But it’s a fluid plan; a roundabout destiny.

The universe provides us with a template; a stage, so to speak, with settings, scenes, characters, and situations, but no script.  It is then our job to improvise – to make choices which, subject to the operation of certain universal rules and laws hidden from our view, cause us to learn and grow and experience.  How we respond to the myriad possibilities presented by these life circumstances allows Source to experience what it’s like to be human vicariously through us.  This, in turn, enables Source to expand and evolve.

We’ve all heard the expression, it’s the journey, not the destination.  In a nutshell, our collective purpose – our job – is to search purely for the sake of searching.  The seeking and searching is the destination.  Having experiences is why we are here.

Okay – so we’ve been sentenced to forever strive but never arrive; to spend a lifetime searching without finding what we’re looking for.  Sounds like a blast, right?

Don’t’ fret.  Shaltazar has provided us some tools to make it more bearable.

First, we are advised to feel deeply all that we are feeling.  To embrace the discomfort, befriend it, and let it speak to us.  To feel our anxiousness about the future, then acknowledge and accept it.

Second, we must be here now.  The past holds regrets and the future fear of the unknown.  So stay right here where everything is okay.  In doing so, you are able connect with Spirit which exists only in the now and thereby avail yourself of Divine wisdom and guidance.

More than anything, trust and have faith.  Like the Wizard of Oz, there are benevolent, loving forces – beings, entities, and energies – hiding behind the green curtain operating the machinery of our destinies for our highest good and benefit.

We will always push to search, seek, change, know, and evolve.  We have no choice in that regard.  We can elect to minimize our suffering, however, by making a decision to accept that we’re doing our job, living our purpose, and to experience each moment, eyes open wide and aware.

Mark Layne


Applying the Wisdom:

If we are never going to arrive why not learn to be more comfortable with the journey.  But how do you do that when the journey throws you a curve or smashes you into a wall?  The key is to be more conscious of how you respond to each step along the way.  If you choose to see a bump in the road as a difficulty, challenge or punishment then, of course, the voyage at times will feel distasteful.  But if you choose to see adversity as your friend and an opportunity to learn and grow then that part of the expedition will feel less onerous.  Don’t forget your journey (your life) is for a higher purpose – to allow Consciousness to expand.  No matter how positive you try to be, life may deal you some challenges and complications that seem unbearable.  Just do your best to cope when life drags you through the mud.  Since human life is a journey, remember that this too will pass!  Often in the midst of your discomfort you will forget this.  If you are able to entrench this belief into your consciousness, you will definitely minimize your suffering.

You may consider asking the question “What can I learn from this situation about me and life?” when the journey is feeling painful.  Changing your perspective when things don’t go well can definitely make the journey more palatable.  Remember how we respond to what comes our way determines what comes next in your journey!  It has been said that life is not as it is, but how you see it.  If you can begin to see it through different lenses you can minimize your anguish.   It does take practice so be patient as you adopt a new way of looking at your life.

Another way to ease the discomfort is to accept that you will never arrive, and learn to accept your life as a journey.  Since you will always be searching and seeking, begin to put your focus on what you can do to get closer to your chosen destination.  If you believe in the Law of Cause and Effect, you will realize that what you do now affects what comes next.  Focusing on the end game just takes your attention off the steps that determine whether you will come closer to what you desire or are forever stuck in the endless cycle of wishing, hoping, wanting, and regretting.  You will win some and you will lose some.  Let go of the judgment about winning and losing and begin to see it all as a process of evolving.

As Rudyard Kipling so aptly puts it in this excerpt from his famous poem If:

“If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;

If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;”

Jeffrey Eisen

Below is the Shaltazar message that inspired Mark to write this article.



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